Heartbeat
by AmiNoo
Summary: Ever had that moment when you can hear your heart beating? WARNING - Death Fic!


Ever had that moment when you can hear your heart beating?

The slow rhythm, like a steady samba playing in your chest, picking up tempo with each passing moment.

Or when the world around you falls completely silent as you're plunged into a place without screams, without laughter, without your name being spoken from the lips of a loved one.

Then it all slows down… and you can still see everyone around you, panic in their faces, their mouths open screaming, your name on their lips.

Or when you see that look in their eyes: those saddened eyes just imploring you to keep fighting, to stay… It makes your heart break at their expressions: too lost, too broken.

And in those last moments, your life, everything about your life, flashes through your mind.

Your first word: the word of your protector, your best friend, your brother… 'Dean…'

Baby Steps: struggling forth, seeing your protector's face and stumbling to him, needing only him to guide your way…

First day of school: nervous and worried, but with a brave father and loving brother at your side, everything suddenly becomes easier, like you could touch the skies…

Your 6th birthday: a brother laughing with you, playing, smiling as you cut the cake, while you watch as another hand rests on top of yours, guiding you…

Your first hunt: scared but comforted as a hand rests on your shoulder, words of encouragement keeping you strong and uplifting your spirit…

A fear unlike any other: sitting by your brother's side as he bleeds - his face too pale, a fear deep inside growing as you hold his hand, whispering lost promises and watery songs…

Christmas time: setting up decorations, wrapping presents, resting in front of the fire, your best friend still loyally by your side…

The grand ball: uncertainty, taking another set baby steps but feeling an encouraging hand pushing you on forward, their support never wavering, giving you strength…

Graduation: a father not showing up, receiving unwanted thanks from people you've never even met before a strong arm wraps around your shoulders, dragging you into a hug, the words 'proud' meeting your stunned ears…

Your eventual escape: choosing your own life, but leaving part of it behind all the same, dividing your soul and breaking your heart…

Reunited: even if you can't show it, inside you something changes where happiness resides, so joyful it would have made the Heaven's sing and the sun shine… you had your best friend again…

Together: despite everything, realising that there's no where else you'd rather be…

A tear comes to your eye at the memories as you realise that there was always one constant in your life. He was the one who protected you, made you smile, wiped away all of your tears and made you into a good person, into the person you were today…

And even though he can't hear you, your inner voice screams out, words unspoken but always known: '_Dean, I love you!_'

But he's still screaming, and you're still standing, waiting…

You don't hear the deadly sound: you can only watch your brother's reaction as he does instead…

Turning away from him, feeling betrayal at your own actions, knowing you'll be leaving soon, leaving him alone again, you stare at your fate…

Then it comes: the heavy slam against your chest as the bullet pummels into you, the sharp rip through your body, making your back arch, eyes to the sky…

There is no pain, just the hitch of your breath and the racing beat of your heart…

And he screams louder, but then, why can't you hear him?

Everything becomes surreal as you begin to fall, into nothingness, into oblivion...

You want to see his face, just one last time. But there's nothing, just that fall as darkness creeps into your vision, trying to steal you away.

And you can't feel the arms wrap around you, or the broken pleas of your faithful big brother, holding you tight, protecting you once more.

The screams for 'help' are formed from his trembling mouth, but his voice is gone. You just want to hear his voice…

He looks back at you, tears swimming in those green eyes as he meets your confused gaze. _'Why is he sad?' _you ask, wanting him to answer, wanting to wipe those tears away and sweep him into a hug, despite his no doubt annoyed cries.

No, I'm sorry, you can't, you can only listen to your heartbeat and watch him struggle, feeling his pain…

And as one, you watch his mouth forms the words 'I'm so sorry' as you think the exact same…

It shouldn't have to end this way…

Then the raging samba slows, reaching its grand finale. Even the rasping breaths you were taking, struggling onto life now disappear. And you've never felt more alone than you do now…

But you're not alone… you have your big brother by your side…

He's crying, as you stare at him blankly, your eyes wide and unblinking…

And as your last second ticks by, a stray tear escapes, making its way down your already bloodied face. Your lips are parted, just trying to say the first word you ever spoke once more, to let it be your last…

You're slipping, and not even his strong arms can catch you now.

Through a shaky breath, the whispered word, "Dean…" escapes, and he hears you. He begins talking again, shaking you in encouragement, but your ears still refuse to cooperate.

All you can hear is your heart beat as it slows…

You can't fight it, but you're not afraid. Dean's here beside you: he won't ever leave your side…

Forcing your lips to twitch upwards, you give him a last smile, dimples flashing.

Then everything goes black…

And through the darkness, one word struggles its way to you, needing to be heard: "Sammy!"

You grin contentedly, _'It's Sam…_'

It's all over and you do it…

You let go…

The samba reaches its end and silence claims you, not even your heartbeat offering you comfort now. Yet somewhere, in the back of your mind, your thoughts drift back to your loving big brother and his love reaches out, wrapping around you tightly, keeping you safe.

Even in death, Dean would always keep you safe…

A final goodbye parts your lips and then you're gone, leaving behind memories and a lost man with a broken soul…

And, held in his brother's trembling arms with tears falling in succession onto his pale face, Samuel Winchester was gone in a heartbeat…


End file.
